Tarot from your substack witch
Drawing cards to make some sense of it all
Growing up I was very drawn to spirituality, witchcraft and magic. If you have read my past pieces, you will notice a pattern — nature, magic, intuition and of course, my grandmother. Famously, she has taught me everything I know. As a young girl, she would tell me captivating stories related to her own spirituality and these would spark my fascination even further. Her connection to animals, the elements, nature, the universe — it all had a purpose. She was careful not to feed my imagination too much, for it could spoil my own spiritual growth. All in good time, she said. I listened.
I have always had a special connection to nature. When covid hit and I found myself stuck at home, nature became my comfort (living in the woods, you would expect nothing less). As I started cultivating my own sense of magic, of spirituality, I could feel my bond to nature grow stronger. With that, my bond with my grandmother grew too. I realise now that teaching a child semi-magical practices would be irresponsible, and my grandmother had waited for me to acquire my own understanding before we could really converse about the topic. I remember sitting down at her dinner table with questions about tarot. It was a random weekday. I had never heard of them before they popped up in my head. She had oracle cards, crystals and other ‘magical’ objects, but not tarot. I found that very odd, considering she had literally everything else. In a way, that confirmed my calling. I was to learn tarot.
My grandmother placed crystals in the corners of my room every week back then. I reckon she was worried that I was diving into the world of spirituality too quickly. I was determined, though. My first tarot deck served me well, but they did not fit my hands. Talking about them gives me an uncomfortable itch in my fingers. My second deck felt like finding something that has been lost for all time. The feeling was surreal, and it sounds like madness when I speak of it, but it was just like, oh, there you are! Those were the cards I chose myself and I spent years working with them. When I say working, I mean learning, decoding, listening, shuffling cards into the night, interpreting the pictures, making sense of symbols and colours. From what I have learned and noticed, tarot is incredibly individual. There are universal meanings for the cards, sure, but it is the relationship between the cards and the reader that gives the meaning a body. Giving that, reading cards takes a lot of practice of intuition. A practice I used to cultivate when I had the time, but have lost as I grew older and busier.
Three years ago, I found my final tarot deck. Since then, I have carried it with me everywhere. The major and minor Arcana is portrayed with artwork from John Bauer, an artist I have admired since my childhood for his paintings of nature. Reading these cards, I feel like I am connected to myself in multiple layers. The memories of a small girl running in the woods looking for trolls and magic everywhere she went. A woman who writes about nature on her free time. Having that connection in this practice gave me more authentic readings, more straight forward messages. I can pull a card or shuffle them all and the card itself would fly out and land infront of me. At 18, I got the magician tattooed on my arm. I hid it from my mother for months. The message? Clear as glass.
So, in honour of nature, summer and me nurturing my neglected spirituality — I have decided to try do a spread each week of July and write them here. I will let the cards decide how many there will be. In this piece, only one was needed. Whatever message I receive might me helpful to you, as well. Or not. That is the beauty of witchcraft, it is not for everyone.
I am not a professional nor an expert, and I do this mainly to make some sense of myself. Take as you will.
July 11, 2025 — A wake up call for the girl with impostor syndrome.
IX (The hermit) Major Arcana — A young girl stares out into the night. She wears a green crown with seven white burning candles atop. Lucia, is what comes to mind.
Meanings — Inner guidance, wisdom, spiritual enlightenment
Dear hermit, myself
As she looks out into the starry night, she is determined. There is no doubt in her eyes. Her seven candles can represent a message from a guardian angel or a higher self. The number seven wants you to reconnect to your practices, whether that be creative, spiritual or whatever fuels your heart. Seven encourages you to trust yourself and to regain focus of tasks at hand. Where are you going? Where have you been? By being aware and trust in your knowledge, you will be ready for the next step in your journey.
The hermit trusts her inner guidance, even if she is unsure of the outcome. The road she follows is entirely her own, the choices she makes are based off of trust to the higher self. What can I choose in this situation that will align with me? The hermits do not want you to be selfless, she wants you to prioritise your own well being, your goals and your dreams. Is there someone in your life that threatens your inner peace? The hermits wants you to bring awareness to that, of the distance in yourself and your intuition. What made you lose that connection to yourself? Was it intentional or by accident? By being aware of the gap, you can rebuild a trustworthy relationship with yourself by honouring your values, your feelings and your true nature. Is there something that is gnawing at the back of your mind? Maybe, if it almost made you abandon yourself. Truth be told, nothing is worth losing yourself over. Your peace, your heart, your mind — all are sacred pieces you should nurture. As a result, you will feel safe again. The bond you have with yourself is the strongest you can have, even though a bond with another can feel equally as powerful. In some instances, another can know you like you know yourself. They will worry if you push yourself too much or sacrifice yourself for work or toxic relationships. Align yourself with people who respects you, your boundaries and your choices. Those people should also celebrate that you are in tune with yourself and that you are honouring what makes you you.
I can feel a hint of fear, like you cannot really commit to the thought of trusting yourself completely. The concept might feel foreign to you because you have been existing outside of yourself for so long. Letting yourself feel is scary. Letting yourself be hurt or sad or angry feels like a task. It might seem like the easier way is burying those feelings somewhere. It is not! As cliché as it sounds, those feelings will manifest elsewhere and at a time where you least expect it. This card encourages you to trust that your feelings are trying to tell you something. Feelings are messages! If a situation makes you feel sad, then let that feeling rest in you without you trying to get rid of it. Maybe you have agreed to something that you, in all honesty, do not want to do. Maybe you are stretching yourself out too thin for people that simply do not care if you go the extra mile. Approach yourself like a friend trying to figure out a solution, rather than an escape. Even though you have been away for long, you are bound to land on common ground soon. This card wants to bring you home.
I can tell you love learning, but hate calling yourself smart. It is almost like you do not want to adopt that title in fear you are, in every way possible, lacking. It seems like the university, your teachers, the essays you have written and gotten good grades for does not count as validation. What would make you feel wise? What is wisdom to you? Maybe you are ignorant to the perplexed, nuanced and layered nature of wisdom and believe you can hold it in your hand. Wisdom is so broad, you cannot even fathom how versatile wisdom can be, so what makes you think you are expected or even qualified to know it all? No one is asking you to know anything. No one is asking you to be the best at something, either. If you are enrolled at university, or if you are working, or if you are doing something else in correlation to others, what is expected of you is that you do your best. You learn because you want to. You study because you want to broaden your own horizon. Others might have it easier or harder than you, that is their own journey. No one said it would look the same for everyone, even though it might feel like it is designed to fit everyone. Your own journey to wisdom, whatever that means to you, will be the very key to it. Does that make sense? Wisdom is not the destination. The lectures, the work you put into yourself, your studies, your projects, those are all what makes you feel aligned with ‘your wisdom’. Knowing many things does not count, writing a perfect essay does not make you wise. It is how you move through life open to new experiences, interested in other perspectives, willing to learn, eager to discover that makes you, in my opinion, wiser. Wisdom is fine wine, aged with the right amount of time, processed over and over to enunciate the flavour. Wisdom is not yours to swallow, it is yours to taste.
This card notices that you have stopped doing what fuels you, you know. I know you hate that it is brought to the light in this manner, so straight forward. Would you listen if it was delivered in bite sizes? I can almost promise that you have known this for a long time. You felt it. And as I said earlier, feelings are messages, and it is up to you to read them. Maybe it started strong, and then you encountered something that made you doubt your work, your projects or your path. Maybe it even made you doubt yourself, your abilities or whether of you are deserving of those opportunities you dream of. No one said the road was going to be easy, the road is never easy! It cannot be! That is a made up concept to paralyse those who are willing to try! The hermit saw that fire in you, saw how much you wanted to succeed, and when the the wind turned and gave you a challenge, the hermit saw that fire burn out. That is the good thing with fires though, you can always light another! This card has not given up on you, she sees what you are capable of. She encourages you to strike that match once again and burn as bright as the sun, as you once did! There is no stopping those who are willing! Success and failure goes hand in hand, both equally important lessons to learn what works for you.
If you are spiritual, the hermit encourages you to look for what has been lost. Your connection to your own spiritual enlightenment has grown weaker as a result of the abandonment of the self. Seems unnecessary now that the root of the problem has been identified, I feel. Maybe this is strictly personal, I felt that way when the first card I pulled aligned exactly with what I was feeling about me neglecting my spirituality. Maybe this card encourages this idea of mine, to really dive deeper into the meanings, messages and symbols and maybe bring some understanding to it all. With that, strengthen my relationship with my spirituality. By writing to myself as a friend, I feel like I can swallow the meaning easier. Take it to heart.
This card is very special to me since I struggle a lot with the relationship to myself. I never trust myself, which is a curse in all honesty. Only I can know my truest feelings and only I can make sure that it is known. I have let myself fall countless of times for the comfort of others. I have abandoned myself when I did not want to deal with the emotional turmoil inside of me. I have neglected my spirituality. I have stopped doing what I love in fear of not doing it good enough. In all ways, without doubt, this card was directly aimed at me. I had barely started shuffling when it flew out of the pile and onto my desktop. Seeing the card sent chills down my spine. I was scared of unfolding this message, scared it would feel like an attack. But I can only agree and accept.
You are so right, I said. We are so back, the hermit replied.
Did any of this align with you at all? Let me know in that case.
Tarot holds such a special place in my heart and I am excited to incorporate that into bearing fruit. Thank you for reading this special piece. I plan to publish one reading every week. As I mentioned before, I am not a professional. Everything I have written here today came to me through my own interpretation, intuition and how I, myself, relate to the card.
I hope you will tune in next Friday for another roast session- I mean spread.
Loveeelovelovelovellove you!
Amanda
Lovely! I have a soft spot for the John Bauer deck as well. My niece asked if she could "tell me stories with it" and it spoke so beautifully through her.
this is so touching. really hits home! I needed this